List of Jim Rockford's Answering Machine Gags - Season 3

Season 3

Episode number	Original airdate	Episode title	Message left on machine
301	1976-09-24	“The Fourth Man”	"Hi, just want to put your mind at rest. Found your address book in the theater last week. By the way, Carol's okay, but Linda..."
302	1976-10-01	“The Oracle Wore a Cashmere Suit”	"Teddy's Tree House. You've won free landscaping services for one full year. We'll mow your lawn, top your tree, mulch, seed, fertilize, and feed. Isn't that wonderful?"
303	1976-10-08	“The Family Hour”	"Hey, Jim, it's Frank. Me and Ellie's down here for our convention. Can't wait to see you. Should be over at your place about 1 AM. Banzai, buddy.
304	1976-10-15	“Feeding Frenzy”	"Hi, this is the Happy Pet Clinic. Your father gave us this number when he left town. The calico stray had six kittens. Please come get them. Today!"
305	1976-11-05	“Drought at Indianhead River”	"Jim, thanks for taking little Billy fishing, he had a great time. Turns out he really wasn't seasick. Um, have you ever had chicken pox?"
306	1976-11-12	“Coulter City Wildcat”	"It's Shirley at the Plant and Pot. There's just no easy way to tell you this, Jim. We did everything we could. Your fern died."
307	1976-11-19	“So Help Me God”	"Dr. Souter's office. This is the third time you've cancelled. Now, you have to have that root canal. A sore foot has nothing to do with your mouth."
308	1976-11-26	“Rattlers’ Class of ‘63”	"Gene's 24 Hour Emergency Plumbing. Your water heater's blown? We'll have somebody out there Tuesday. Thursday at the latest."
309	1976-12-10	“Return to the Thirty-Eighth Parallel”	"Tompkins at Guaranteed Insurance. About your burglary claim. Major loss all right. Funny you remembered to file, but you didn't remember to pay your premium."
310	1976-12-17	“Piece Work”	"This is Dr. Souter's office again, regarding that root canal. The doctor is in his office...waiting. He's beginning to dislike you."
311	1976-12-24	“The Trouble With Warren	"Jimmy, it's Phil in Puerto Rico. This is real important. Talked to Mr., he'll pay $20,000. Call him at ."
312	1977-01-07	“There’s One in Every Port”	"Bummer! I call up with some good vibes and some positive energies and I talk to a robot? Forget you, man!"
313	1977-01-14	“Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones, But Waterbury Will Bury You”	"This is the Department of the Army. Our records show that you are the "Rockford, James" who failed to turn in his service automatic in May 1953. Contact us at once."
314	1977-01-21	“The Trees, the Bees and T.T. Flowers” — Part 1	"Jimmy, old buddy, buddy. It's Angel! You know they allow you one phone call? Well, this is it."
315	1977-01-28	“The Trees, the Bees and T.T. Flowers” — Part 2	"Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
316	1977-02-11	“The Becker Connection”	"Hi, um, I'm confused. Is this Dial-A-Prayer? Well, should I call back when the reverend's in the office, or what?"
317	1977-02-18	“Just Another Polish Wedding”	"George Devon, Malibu Space Watch. Had three sightings last week. You see anything unusual? Television reception interrupted? Call 555-1313."
318	1977-02-25	“New Life, Old Dragons”	"It's Pete. Hope you enjoyed using the cabin last week. Only next time leave the trout in the refrigerator, huh? Not in the cupboard."
319	1977-03-11	“To Protect and Serve” — Part 1	"This is Dusty, your father's friend. So you helped me move, that's it? See if maybe I don't like the new place? See if maybe there's some painting to be done?"
320	1977-03-18	“To Protect and Serve” — Part 2	"This is incredible. Do you know last night I had one of my dreams? I dreamed that if I called you, you wouldn't be home. And you're not."
321	1977-03-25	“Crack Back”	"This is Doctor Souter. My nurse tells me you've blown four root canal appointments. Well, you're finished in this office."
322	1977-04-01	“Dirty Money, Black Light”	"This is Toby. I forgot what I was calling for. Your recording is so boring. Spike it with some humor, some personality. Something."