Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous - Fantasy

Fantasy

Fantasy comes in various forms. An addict may have fantasy thoughts about a prospective lover or sexual partner. In many ways sex and love addicts, especially fantasy addicts and/or anorectics live in a fantasy world of their own making. Addicts relate this as "not being present." Fantasy is a non-truth. It is a lie believed in or partially believed. Fantasy often mirrors so closely the real thoughts that it is difficult for the addict to know the difference between fantasy and reality. For example, an addict may have a fantasy romantic relationship with a qualifier, yet not have an actual relationship with this person. The addict can believe the fantasy world because it is so closely aligned to their own. One program tool of recovery available to the addict is contrary action. Members find a contrary action, often a needed action such as doing the laundry or talking to another S.L.A.A. member. The obsession of the mind can even lead the addict to believe they are working the program when in actuality they are not doing the actions of the program which may lead to the addict drifting away from the S.L.A.A program. Working closely with a sponsor and keeping in contact with other S.L.A.A. members can help the addict stay in the program actions of recovery.

Fantasy anger. Addicts can often experience fantasy anger. Fantasy anger can arise once the addict has been "triggered." Triggers can include emotional experiences similar to those of the addicts childhood or present day traumas. Fantasy anger is possibly genuine anger and can be tied to real injustices the addict has experienced. This anger can then shift onto other subjects and can lead to acting out. In recovery, addicts can learn to experience "right-sized" anger and emotions.