Sporalogy

Sporalogy is a jocular pseudoscience invented by Finnish physics and astronomy professor Nils Mustelin in the 1980s as a parody of astrology. Its name comes from the Helsinki slang expression for tram, "spora" (from Swedish: spÄrvagn, tram).

Sporalogy is the "art" or "science" of predicting a person's future on the basis of the positions of trams at the moment of the person's birth. This is a parody of astrology's claim of being able to do the same using the positions of the planets and the constellations. Mustelin points out that as trams or buses are so much nearer the person in question their gravitational pull has a much greater effect than do distant planets and stars.

Since this parody was meant to help the Finnish public use common sense to understand the logic behind the claims of astrology, this pseudoscience was based on tram traffic in the Finnish capital of Helsinki. It is now up to "respected sporalogists" to decide whether Helsinki trams should be used to predict the future of people everywhere in the world or whether the trams or buses of the closest major city should be used.

Sporalogy doesn't have many rules, and they are at most guidelines. For example, green-and-yellow trams signify peaceful, artistic aspects. In contrast, red-and-grey trams (which were in use in Helsinki in the 1980s but have since been repainted similar to the others) signify harder, more technological aspects. The trams number 4 (Katajanokka - Munkkiniemi) and 10 (Kirurgi - Huopalahti) signify problems and success in school, respectively. (The grades 4 and 10 being the lowest and highest given in Finnish schools). The tram number 6 is related to love, since Swedish for the number six is sex.

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